CHRISTian Humor and Truth…

James 1:22 “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.”

For the start of your day here are some thought provokers.

With most of these you can apply scripture principles.

Christian Humor and Truth

Don’t let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started
out as a basket case.


Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited
until you try to sit in their pews.


Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.


It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.


The good Lord didn’t create anything
without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.


When you get to your wit’s end, you’ll find God lives there.


People are funny; they want the
front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.


Opportunity may knock once, but temptation
bangs on your front door forever.


Quit griping about your
church; if it was perfect, you couldn’t belong.


If the church wants a
better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.


God Himself does not propose
to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?


Some minds are like concrete
thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.


Peace starts with a smile.


I don’t know why some people
change churches; what difference does
it make which one you stay home from?!


A lot of church members who
are singing “Standing on the Promises” are just sitting on the premises.


We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.


Be ye fishers of men. You catch them – He’ll clean them.


Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.


Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.


Don’t wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.


Forbidden fruits create many jams.


God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.


God grades on the cross, not the curve.


God loves everyone, but probably prefers
“fruits of the spirit” over “religious nuts!”


God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.


He who angers you, controls you!


If God is your Co-pilot – swap seats!



Don’t give God instructions — just report for duty!


The task ahead of us is never as
great as the Power behind us.


The Will of God never takes you to
where the Grace of God will not protect you.


We don’t change the message, the message changes us.


You can tell how big a person
is by what it takes to……….discourage him.


The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.


James 1:22 “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.”


Home Sweet Home……

 Matt 6:19-21 “”Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

 II Cor 5:8-10a “For we are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. Wherefore we labor, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of Him, for we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ…”

Two missionaries were getting off a ship after serving and endangering their lives and their families for 40 years in Africa and were finally coming home to the states.

On that same ship was the Queen of England and there were bands and thousands of people greeting her as she was going to step off the ship.

The missionary’s wife said: Look darling, we have spent our whole life in service to our Lord and this woman has done nothing except she has the luxury of being born into the royal family and look at the reception she is getting.

Her wise and faithful husband squeezed her hand tightly and said, it’s ok sweetheart, we are not home yet……

II Cor 5:8-9a “For we are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord…”

Life on this earth offers some great opportunities but in view of eternity it is such a small amount. So, the moral of the story is; Make your life profitable for Jesus’ glory while you are here so that you will not be ashamed when He appears a second time!!!!!

And be content doing so!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the bigger question is, are you sure of where your eternal home is?

John 3:3 “Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”

Our Debt Paid in Full…

Romans 14:12 “So then everyone of us shall give account of himself unto God.”

Our Debt Paid in Full…

My time on earth had come to an end and I found myself in a courtroom in heaven.

The first thing I remember is sitting on a bench in the waiting room of what
I thought to be a court house. The doors opened and I was instructed to come
in and have a seat by the defense table.

As I looked around I saw the “prosecutor,” he was a villainous looking gent
who snarled as he stared at me, he definitely was the most evil person I
have ever seen.

I sat down and looked to my left and there sat my lawyer, a kind and gentle
looking man whose appearance seemed very familiar to me. The corner door
flew open and there appeared the judge in full flowing robes. He commanded an
awesome presence as he moved across the room and I couldn’t take my eyes off
of him. As he took his seat behind the bench he said “Let us begin.”

The prosecutor rose and said “My name is satan and I am here to show you
why this man belongs in hell.” He proceeded to tell of lies that I told, things
that I stole and in the past when I cheated others. satan told of other
horrible perversion that were once in my life and the more he spoke the
further down in my seat I sank. I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t look at
anyone, even my own lawyer, as the Devil told of sins that even I had
completely forgotten about.

As upset as I was at satan for telling all these things about me, I was
equally upset at my representative who sat there silently not offering any
form of defense at all.  I know I had been guilty of those things, but I had
done some good in my life — couldn’t that at least equal out part of the
harm I’ve done?

satan finished with a fury and said “This man belongs in hell, he is guilty
of all that I have charged and there is not a person who can prove otherwise.

When it was his turn, my lawyer first asked if he might approach the bench.
The judge allowed this over the strong objection of satan, and beckoned him
to come forward. As he got up and started walking I was able to see him now
in his full splendor and majesty. Now I realized why he seemed so familiar
this was Jesus representing me, my Lord and my Savior.

He stopped at the bench and softly said to the judge, “Father”, and then he
turned to address the court. ” satan was correct in saying that this man had
sinned, I won’t deny any of these allegation. And yes the wages of sins is
death and this man deserves to be punished.”

Jesus took a deep breath and turned to his Father with outstretched arms and
proclaimed, “However, I died on the cross so that this person might have
eternal life and he has accepted me as his Savior, so he is mine.”

My Lord continued with, “His name is written in the book of life and no one
can snatch him from me.  satan still does not understand this man is not to be
given justice but rather mercy.”  As Jesus sat down, he quietly paused,
looked at his Father and replied, “There is nothing else that needs to be
done, and I’ve done it all.”

The Judge lifted his mighty hand and slammed the gavel down and the
following words bellowed from his lips- “This man is free — the penalty for him has
already been paid in full, case dismissed.”

As my Lord led me away I could hear satan ranting and raving, “I won’t give
up; I’ll win the next one.”

I asked Jesus as he gave me my instructions where to go next, “Have you ever
lost a case?”  Christ lovingly smiled and said, “Everyone that has come to me
and asked me to represent them has received the same verdict as you…Paid in Full.”

In this world of terrible hurt, pain, suffering, and extreme self centered
focus to the exclusion of everyone and everything else there are times when
logic, thought, discussion, etc., do nothing.  It is in these times I have
learned that I have only one place to turn to ease the pain. That place is to my
Lord and Savior, Jesus.

II Cor 15:21 “For He has made Him to be sin for us, who knew no sin,
that we might be made the righteousness of God, in Him.”

The Mission of the Church…

Mat 28:19, 20 “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

The Mission of the Church

As with all truth the only absolutes in our world are contained in God’s word the Bible. That is because God is the Author of the 66 books (II Tim 3:16, 17 and II Pet 1:20, 21) that the Bible contains and He never changes (Mal 3:6 and Heb 13:8). The theme of the OT is the coming of a Savior as the perfect sacrifice needed for the forgiveness of our sins. The NT proclaims Jesus coming to be that sacrifice and the knowledge that He will come a second time to put an end to sin and satan. THANK YOU, JESUS……

Today Jesus is at God the Father’s right hand making intercession for all those who call upon His name to be saved (born again Acts 16:31, John 3:3 & John 14:6). When He left this earth He sent the Holy Spirit to indwell ‘born again’ believers who make up the Church. The Church is not a denomination although some denominations do proclaim the Biblical gospel. Do a search in the Bible and you will not find any denominations mentioned. Many attempts to add works to Jesus sacrifice or do not even have the name of Jesus in their doctrine. Some do not even see Jesus as God. They see Him as a great man and a Prophet but not God. Yet we know from historical evidence and eye witness accounts that Jesus is not in the grave like all false Prophets. HE ROSE FROM THE GRAVE AND ONLY GOD COULD DO THAT! Check out 1 Corinthians chapter 15.

1 John 4:2-3 “By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, and every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God. And this is the spirit of the Antichrist, which you have heard was coming, and is now already in the world.”

One of the Bible passages that helps us understand what Jesus mission is for His Church as we await His second coming is Matthew 28:19 and 20. It breaks down into 3 areas so let’s explore them this morning so we can actively serve Jesus. The three areas are;

  1. Go and make disciples;
    1. Like Peter, Andrew and the other disciples we have been called to go and make disciples. I, like most you, do not have the gift of Evangelism nor am I a Pastor or Missionary but we are all to be fishers of men. As Spiritual Gifts, Giving and Evangelism are similar. We are all to Give and Evangelize but some believers will have a greater desire to do so and greater experiences based on their Gifts.
      1. Mat 4:19 Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.”
      2. Romans 10:14, 15 “How then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach unless they are sent?
    2. As an act of obedience and not a condition for being ‘born again’ believers are to be Baptized in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit;
      1. Baptism is a step of obedience and a believers’ proclaiming his dependence on Jesus for forgiveness of sins. It is as the book of James notes a sign and proof of our being ‘born again’. Faith without works is dead and amounts to head knowledge without heart acceptance (Mat 10:9, 10).
      2. First we must believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and then comes water Baptism; Acts 8:36b-38 “And the eunuch said, “See, here is What hinders me from being baptized?” Then Philip said, “If you believe with all your heart, you may.” And he answered and said, “I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.” So he commanded the chariot to stand still. And both Philip and the eunuch went down into the water, and he baptized him.”
      3. Jesus’ final command in Matthew’s Gospel is that his followers are to teach and to baptize. Those who are baptized are called “disciples.” From this it seems reasonable to conclude that such people should be both repentant and have faith in Jesus.
      4. Such baptism was to be in the name of Jesus or in the name of the Trinity.
    3. Teach the believers all things that Jesus commanded His Church to teach;
      1. The main function of the Church is to teach believers to love and serve Jesus while focusing on going and making disciples.
      2. Eph 4:9-12 “Notice that it says “he ascended.” This clearly means that Christ also descended to our lowly world.  And the same one who descended is the one who ascended higher than all the heavens, so that he might fill the entire universe with himself. Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ.
      3. Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from”
      4. II Pet 3:18 “but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever”

In summary, Jesus wants you and I as ‘born again’ believers to be dedicated to going and making disciples, baptizing them and teaching them to do the work that Jesus left for His Church to do. I don’t know about you but I have a lot of work to do…………….

Through the Storm, through the Night…

Romans 8:28 “And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good,

even to them that are called according to his purpose.”

Through the Storm, through the Night…

Back in 1932 I was 32 years old and a fairly new husband. My
wife, Nettie, and I were living in a little apartment on Chicago’s South Side.

One hot August afternoon I had to go to St. Louis, where I was
to be the featured soloist at a large revival meeting. I didn’t want to
go. Nettie was in the last month of pregnancy with our first child. But
a lot of people were expecting me in St. Louis.

I kissed Nettie good-bye, clattered downstairs to our Model A
and, in a fresh Lake Michigan breeze, chugged out of Chicago on Route 66.

However, outside the city, I discovered that in my anxiety at
leaving, I had forgotten my music case. I wheeled around and headed back. I found Nettie sleeping peacefully.

I hesitated by her bed; something was strongly telling me to
stay. But eager to get on my way, and not wanting to disturb Nettie, I
shrugged off the feeling and quietly slipped out of the room with my music.


The next night, in the steaming St. Louis heat, the crowd
called on me to sing again and again. When I finally sat down, a
messenger boy ran up with a Western Union telegram.


I ripped open the envelope. Pasted on the yellow sheet were the


People were happily singing and clapping around me, but I could
hardly keep from crying out. I rushed to a phone and called home.


All I could hear on the other end was “Nettie is dead. Nettie is dead.”


When I got back, I learned that Nettie had given birth to a boy.
I swung between grief and joy. Yet that night, the baby died.


I buried Nettie and our little boy, both together, in the same
casket. Then I fell apart.


For days I closeted myself. I felt that God had done me an
injustice. I didn’t want to serve Him any more or write gospel songs. I
just wanted to go back to that jazz world I once knew so well.


But then, as I hunched alone in that dark apartment those first
sad days, I thought back to the afternoon I went to St. Louis. Something
kept telling me to stay with Nettie.


Was that something God? Oh, if I had paid more attention to Him
that day, I would have stayed and been with Nettie when she died.


From that moment on I vowed to listen more closely to Him. But
still I was lost in grief.


Everyone was kind to me, especially a friend, Professor Fry, who
seemed to know what I needed. On the following Saturday evening he took
me up to Malone’s Poro College, a neighborhood music school.


It was quiet; the late evening sun crept through the curtained windows. I sat down at the piano, and my hands began to browse over the keys.

Something happened to me then. I felt at peace. I felt as
though I could reach out and touch God. I found myself playing a melody,
one into my head-they just seemed to fall into place:

Precious Lord, take my hand,
lead me on, let me stand,
I am tired, I am weak, I am worn,
Through the storm, through the night
lead me on to the light,
Take my hand, precious Lord,
Lead me home.

As the Lord gave me these words and melody, He also healed my
spirit. I learned that when we are in our deepest grief, when we feel
farthest from God, this is when He is closest, and when we are most open
to His restoring power.

And so I go on living for God willingly and joyfully, until that
day comes when He will take me and gently lead me home.

Tommy Dorsey/ “The Birth of ” Precious Lord

Neil and Rosemary Merckens

“Be still and know that I am God” ~Psalm 46

Management Candidates…Apostles…

Management Candidates…Apostles…

I Sam 16:7b “For the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks on the
outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Ever wonder if you were good enough to be a servant of the King?

A tongue-in-cheek memorandum from the Jordan Management Consultants in Jerusalem to Jesus, Son of Joseph, at the Woodcrafters Carpenter Shop in Nazareth reflecting God’s wisdom vs. that of the world.

Dear Sir:

Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you’ve
picked for managerial positions in your new organization. All of them
have now taken our battery of tests, and we have not only run the
results through our computer but also arranged personal interviews for
each of them with our psychologist and vocational aptitude consultant.
The profiles of our tests are included, and you will want to study each
of them carefully.

It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking
in background, education, and vocational aptitude for the type of
enterprise you are undertaking. They are not trained and do not act like
a team. We would recommend that you continue your search for persons of
experience in managerial ability and proven capability.

Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper.
Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership. The two brothers,
James and John, the sons of Zebedee, place personal interest above
company loyalty. Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would
tend to undermine morale. We feel it our duty to tell you that Matthew
has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Business Bureau. James,
the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddeus definitely have racial leanings, and
they both registered a high score on the manic-depressive scale.

One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a
man of ability and resourcefulness, meets people well, has a keen
business mind, and has contacts in high places. He is highly motivated,
ambitious, and responsible. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your
controller and right-hand man. All of the other profiles are self-explanatory.

We wish you every success in our new venture.


Jordan Management Consultants

If you do choose to serve Jesus, remember you walk in His strength and
not your own. And as importantly, He only requires your commitment and
not any level of formal training or Masters or a Doctorate. The real peace is that the Holy Spirit will work with you as you study to show yourself approved unto God’s work. His only requirement is your commitment. He will give you the OJT.

II Tim 3:15 “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Romans 12:1 “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable

Phil 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

The Cause for School Shootings…

Luke 9:23 “If anyone will come after Me, let them deny themselves, take
up their cross daily, and follow Me

The Cause for School Shootings…

Guess our national leaders didn’t expect this. Darrell Scott,
the father of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine High School
shootings in Littleton, Colorado, was invited to address the House
Judiciary Committee’s subcommittee. What he said to our national leaders
during this special session of Congress was painfully truthful.
They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well.
It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician,
every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert!

These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful,
penetrating, and deeply personal. The following is a portion of the
“Since the dawn of creation there has been both good & evil in the
hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the
seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott,
and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who
died must not be in vain.


Their blood cries out for answers.” “The first recorded act of
violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The
villain was not the club he used. Neither was it the NCA, the National
Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the
murder could only be found in Cain’s heart. “In the days that followed
the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be
pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA. I am
not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or
defend the NRA – because I don’t believe that they are responsible for
my daughter’s death.
Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believed
they had anything to do with Rachel’s murder I would be their strongest
opponent.” I am here today to declare that

Columbine was not just a tragedy–it was a spiritual event that
should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the
blame lies here in this room. Much of the blame lies behind the pointing
fingers of the accusers themselves. I wrote a poem that expresses my
feelings best. This was written way before I knew I would be speaking
here today:

“Your laws ignore our deepest needs; Your words are empty air.
You’ve stripped away our heritage, You’ve outlawed simple prayer.
Now gunshots fill our classrooms, and precious children die. You seek
for answers everywhere, and ask the question “Why?” You regulate
restrictive laws, through legislative creed. And yet you fail to
understand, That God is what we need!” Men and women are three-part
beings. We all consist of body, soul, and spirit. When we refuse to
acknowledge a third part of our make-up, we create a void that allows
evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and wreak havoc.

Spiritual influences were present within our educational systems
for most of our nation’s history. Many of our major colleges began as
theological seminaries. This is a historical fact. What has happened to
us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open
the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as
Columbine’s tragedy occurs politicians immediately look for a scapegoat
such as the NRA.  They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws
that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties. We do
not need more restrictive laws.

Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors.
No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this
type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts. Political
posturing and restrictive legislation are not the answers. The young
people of our nation hold the key. There is a spiritual awakening taking
place that will not be squelched!

We do not need more religion. We do not need more gaudy
television evangelists spewing out verbal religious garbage. We do not
need more million dollar church buildings built while people with basic
needs are being ignored. We do need a change of heart and a humble
acknowledgment that this nation was founded on the principle of simple
trust in God!”


“As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and
saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes, He did not hesitate
to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right!
I challenge every young person in America, and around the world, to
realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School prayer was
brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by
those students be in vain.

Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for
legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him.
To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA- I give to you a
sincere challenge. Dare to examine your own heart before casting the
first stone!

My daughter’s death will not be in vain! The young people of
this country will not allow that to happen!”

How bold are you in proclaiming God’s word? Jesus will return a 2nd time. Both now and then He is the only solution to sin.
1 John 1:5-9 “This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.  But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”


Luke 9:26 “For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of
Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory, and in His Father’s,
and the holy angels.”