CHRISTian Humor and Truth…

James 1:22 “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.”

For the start of your day here are some thought provokers.

With most of these you can apply scripture principles.

Christian Humor and Truth

Don’t let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started
out as a basket case.


Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited
until you try to sit in their pews.


Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.


It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.


The good Lord didn’t create anything
without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.


When you get to your wit’s end, you’ll find God lives there.


People are funny; they want the
front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.


Opportunity may knock once, but temptation
bangs on your front door forever.


Quit griping about your
church; if it was perfect, you couldn’t belong.


If the church wants a
better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.


God Himself does not propose
to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?


Some minds are like concrete
thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.


Peace starts with a smile.


I don’t know why some people
change churches; what difference does
it make which one you stay home from?!


A lot of church members who
are singing “Standing on the Promises” are just sitting on the premises.


We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.


Be ye fishers of men. You catch them – He’ll clean them.


Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.


Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.


Don’t wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.


Forbidden fruits create many jams.


God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.


God grades on the cross, not the curve.


God loves everyone, but probably prefers
“fruits of the spirit” over “religious nuts!”


God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.


He who angers you, controls you!


If God is your Co-pilot – swap seats!



Don’t give God instructions — just report for duty!


The task ahead of us is never as
great as the Power behind us.


The Will of God never takes you to
where the Grace of God will not protect you.


We don’t change the message, the message changes us.


You can tell how big a person
is by what it takes to……….discourage him.


The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.


James 1:22 “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.”


Why go to Church…

Heb 10:24 “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works…”


A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of the newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. “I’ve gone for 30 years now,” he wrote, “and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can’t remember a single one of them. So, I think I’m wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all.”This started a real controversy in the “Letters to the Editor “column, much to the delight of the editor.

It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher: I’ve been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for most of those meals. But I do know this: They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually bankrupt today!

“When you are DOWN to nothing…. God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible!

Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!

And finally the best reason………………

Heb 10:24,25 “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Prescribed by the Great Physician…

Matthew 4:18-19 “And Jesus, walking by the sea of Galilee, saw two brethren, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers. And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”

**Prescribed by the** **Great Physician**


The next time you feel like GOD can’t use you, just remember…

– Noah periodically drank too much

– Abraham was too old

– Isaac was a daydreamer

– Jacob was a liar

– Leah was ugly

– Joseph was abused

– Moses was a poor speaker

– Gideon was afraid

– Samson had long hair and was a womanizer

– Rahab was a prostitute

– Jeremiah and Timothy were too young

– David had an affair and was a murderer

– Elijah was suicidal

– Isaiah preached naked

– Jonah ran from God

– Naomi was a widow

– Job went bankrupt and lost his family

– Peter denied Christ

– The Disciples fell asleep while praying

– Martha worried about everything

– Mary Magdalene was…

– The Samaritan woman was divorced, more than once

– Zacchaeus was too small

– Paul was too religious

– Timothy had an ulcer…AND

– Lazarus was dead!


Now! No more excuses!

God can use you to your full potential.

Besides you aren’t the message, you are just the messenger!

**** Start by…

  1. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
  2. Dear God, I have a problem, it’s Me.
  3. Growing old is inevitable growing UP is optional.
  4. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
  5. Silence is often misinterpreted but never misquoted.
  6. Do the math count your blessings.
  7. Faith is the ability to not panic.
  8. Laugh every day, it’s like inner jogging.
  9. If you worry, you didn’t pray. If you pray, don’t worry.
  10. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
  11. Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
  12. The most important things in your house are the people.

13 When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.

  1. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.

15 He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

**Have a great day!!! The SON is shining and he can certainly use you!**

It is comforting to me to know that God can use me. And He does so not requiring that I be a theologian. I only need to be willing, God will provide the opportunity and the strength………..

2 Cor. 12:9 “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Through the Storm, through the Night…

Romans 8:28 “And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good,

even to them that are called according to his purpose.”

Through the Storm, through the Night…

Back in 1932 I was 32 years old and a fairly new husband. My
wife, Nettie, and I were living in a little apartment on Chicago’s South Side.

One hot August afternoon I had to go to St. Louis, where I was
to be the featured soloist at a large revival meeting. I didn’t want to
go. Nettie was in the last month of pregnancy with our first child. But
a lot of people were expecting me in St. Louis.

I kissed Nettie good-bye, clattered downstairs to our Model A
and, in a fresh Lake Michigan breeze, chugged out of Chicago on Route 66.

However, outside the city, I discovered that in my anxiety at
leaving, I had forgotten my music case. I wheeled around and headed back. I found Nettie sleeping peacefully.

I hesitated by her bed; something was strongly telling me to
stay. But eager to get on my way, and not wanting to disturb Nettie, I
shrugged off the feeling and quietly slipped out of the room with my music.


The next night, in the steaming St. Louis heat, the crowd
called on me to sing again and again. When I finally sat down, a
messenger boy ran up with a Western Union telegram.


I ripped open the envelope. Pasted on the yellow sheet were the


People were happily singing and clapping around me, but I could
hardly keep from crying out. I rushed to a phone and called home.


All I could hear on the other end was “Nettie is dead. Nettie is dead.”


When I got back, I learned that Nettie had given birth to a boy.
I swung between grief and joy. Yet that night, the baby died.


I buried Nettie and our little boy, both together, in the same
casket. Then I fell apart.


For days I closeted myself. I felt that God had done me an
injustice. I didn’t want to serve Him any more or write gospel songs. I
just wanted to go back to that jazz world I once knew so well.


But then, as I hunched alone in that dark apartment those first
sad days, I thought back to the afternoon I went to St. Louis. Something
kept telling me to stay with Nettie.


Was that something God? Oh, if I had paid more attention to Him
that day, I would have stayed and been with Nettie when she died.


From that moment on I vowed to listen more closely to Him. But
still I was lost in grief.


Everyone was kind to me, especially a friend, Professor Fry, who
seemed to know what I needed. On the following Saturday evening he took
me up to Malone’s Poro College, a neighborhood music school.


It was quiet; the late evening sun crept through the curtained windows. I sat down at the piano, and my hands began to browse over the keys.

Something happened to me then. I felt at peace. I felt as
though I could reach out and touch God. I found myself playing a melody,
one into my head-they just seemed to fall into place:

Precious Lord, take my hand,
lead me on, let me stand,
I am tired, I am weak, I am worn,
Through the storm, through the night
lead me on to the light,
Take my hand, precious Lord,
Lead me home.

As the Lord gave me these words and melody, He also healed my
spirit. I learned that when we are in our deepest grief, when we feel
farthest from God, this is when He is closest, and when we are most open
to His restoring power.

And so I go on living for God willingly and joyfully, until that
day comes when He will take me and gently lead me home.

Tommy Dorsey/ “The Birth of ” Precious Lord

Neil and Rosemary Merckens

“Be still and know that I am God” ~Psalm 46

The Cause for School Shootings…

Luke 9:23 “If anyone will come after Me, let them deny themselves, take
up their cross daily, and follow Me

The Cause for School Shootings…

Guess our national leaders didn’t expect this. Darrell Scott,
the father of Rachel Scott, a victim of the Columbine High School
shootings in Littleton, Colorado, was invited to address the House
Judiciary Committee’s subcommittee. What he said to our national leaders
during this special session of Congress was painfully truthful.
They were not prepared for what he was to say, nor was it received well.
It needs to be heard by every parent, every teacher, every politician,
every sociologist, every psychologist, and every so-called expert!

These courageous words spoken by Darrell Scott are powerful,
penetrating, and deeply personal. The following is a portion of the
“Since the dawn of creation there has been both good & evil in the
hearts of men and women. We all contain the seeds of kindness or the
seeds of violence. The death of my wonderful daughter, Rachel Joy Scott,
and the deaths of that heroic teacher, and the other eleven children who
died must not be in vain.


Their blood cries out for answers.” “The first recorded act of
violence was when Cain slew his brother Abel out in the field. The
villain was not the club he used. Neither was it the NCA, the National
Club Association. The true killer was Cain, and the reason for the
murder could only be found in Cain’s heart. “In the days that followed
the Columbine tragedy, I was amazed at how quickly fingers began to be
pointed at groups such as the NRA. I am not a member of the NRA. I am
not a hunter. I do not even own a gun. I am not here to represent or
defend the NRA – because I don’t believe that they are responsible for
my daughter’s death.
Therefore I do not believe that they need to be defended. If I believed
they had anything to do with Rachel’s murder I would be their strongest
opponent.” I am here today to declare that

Columbine was not just a tragedy–it was a spiritual event that
should be forcing us to look at where the real blame lies! Much of the
blame lies here in this room. Much of the blame lies behind the pointing
fingers of the accusers themselves. I wrote a poem that expresses my
feelings best. This was written way before I knew I would be speaking
here today:

“Your laws ignore our deepest needs; Your words are empty air.
You’ve stripped away our heritage, You’ve outlawed simple prayer.
Now gunshots fill our classrooms, and precious children die. You seek
for answers everywhere, and ask the question “Why?” You regulate
restrictive laws, through legislative creed. And yet you fail to
understand, That God is what we need!” Men and women are three-part
beings. We all consist of body, soul, and spirit. When we refuse to
acknowledge a third part of our make-up, we create a void that allows
evil, prejudice, and hatred to rush in and wreak havoc.

Spiritual influences were present within our educational systems
for most of our nation’s history. Many of our major colleges began as
theological seminaries. This is a historical fact. What has happened to
us as a nation? We have refused to honor God, and in so doing, we open
the doors to hatred and violence. And when something as terrible as
Columbine’s tragedy occurs politicians immediately look for a scapegoat
such as the NRA.  They immediately seek to pass more restrictive laws
that contribute to erode away our personal and private liberties. We do
not need more restrictive laws.

Eric and Dylan would not have been stopped by metal detectors.
No amount of gun laws can stop someone who spends months planning this
type of massacre. The real villain lies within our own hearts. Political
posturing and restrictive legislation are not the answers. The young
people of our nation hold the key. There is a spiritual awakening taking
place that will not be squelched!

We do not need more religion. We do not need more gaudy
television evangelists spewing out verbal religious garbage. We do not
need more million dollar church buildings built while people with basic
needs are being ignored. We do need a change of heart and a humble
acknowledgment that this nation was founded on the principle of simple
trust in God!”


“As my son Craig lay under that table in the school library and
saw his two friends murdered before his very eyes, He did not hesitate
to pray in school. I defy any law or politician to deny him that right!
I challenge every young person in America, and around the world, to
realize that on April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School prayer was
brought back to our schools. Do not let the many prayers offered by
those students be in vain.

Dare to move into the new millennium with a sacred disregard for
legislation that violates your God-given right to communicate with Him.
To those of you who would point your finger at the NRA- I give to you a
sincere challenge. Dare to examine your own heart before casting the
first stone!

My daughter’s death will not be in vain! The young people of
this country will not allow that to happen!”

How bold are you in proclaiming God’s word? Jesus will return a 2nd time. Both now and then He is the only solution to sin.
1 John 1:5-9 “This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.  But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”


Luke 9:26 “For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of
Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory, and in His Father’s,
and the holy angels.”

Jesus’ Blood for our Freedom…

John 19:17-18a “and He, bearing His cross, went out to a place called the place of the skull, which is called in Hebrew, Golgotha. Where they crucified Him.”

Jesus’ Blood for our Freedom

There once was a man named George Thomas, a pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit.

Several eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak. “I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me, swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright. I stopped the lad and asked, ‘What you got there son?”

“Just some old birds,” came the reply.

“What are you gonna do with them?” I asked.

“Take ’em home and have fun with ’em. I’m gonna tease ’em
and pull out their feathers to make ’em fight. I’m gonna have a real good time.”

“But you’ll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do then?”

“Oh, I got some cats. They like birds. I’ll take ’em to them.”

The pastor was silent for a moment. “How much do you want for those birds, son?”

“Huh??!!! Why, you don’t want them birds, mister. They’re just plain old field birds. They don’t sing-they ain’t even pretty!”

“How much?”

The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, “$10?”

The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten-dollar bill. He placed it in the boy’s hand. In a flash, the boy was gone. The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars, persuaded the birds out, setting them free.

Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story.

One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. “Yes sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn’t resist. Got ’em all!”

“What are you going to do with them?” Jesus asked.

“Oh, I’m gonna have fun! I’m gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I’m really gonna have fun!”

“And what will you do when you get done with them?” Jesus asked.

“Oh, I’ll kill ’em.”

“How much do you want for them?”

“Oh, you don’t want those people. They ain’t no good. Why, you take them and they’ll just hate you. They’ll spit on you, curse you and kill you!! You don’t want those people!!”


Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, “All your tears, and all your blood.”

Jesus paid the price. He picked up the cage…

John 19:17-18a “and He, bearing His cross, went out to a place called the place of the skull, which is called in Hebrew, Golgotha. Where they crucified Him.”

 Heb 9:22 “And according to the law almost all things are purified with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no remission.”

 John 14:6 “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”

The Real Spiritual Cold War is on….

The Real Spiritual Cold War is on…

Yes there is a Cold War going on right now. It is an invisible one so we cannot see it.  There is a group of books authored by God that keeps us informed. Listen up!

 Job 2:2 “And the Lord said unto Satan, ‘From where do you come?’ So satan answered the Lord and said, ‘ From going to and fro on the earth and from walking back and forth on it.’

The warning and the solution to battling it.

I Pet 5:8 “Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about seeking whom he may devour.”

The main weapon of war in a spiritual cold war!

James 4:7 “SUBMITT yourselves therefore unto God, RESIST the devil and he will flee from you.”

 All those proclaiming to be from God are not!! The word Christian has a different definition in our world than in the Bible. Some supposed men and women of God proclaim a Gospel of health, wealth and prosperity and teach many different ways to get to heaven and they sound so good. So how can we tell the difference??

II Tim. 2:15 “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. “

II Cor. 11:14-15 “And no marvel; for satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.”

John 3:3 “Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again”

John 3:16-18 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.” 

 John 14:6 “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

 Protection comes from!”

Ephes. 6:11-12 “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. “

Have a great day and don’t forget the greatest book ever written provides you with the Armor needed to do battle. Apart from God’s power you are helpless to do battle!

James 4:7″ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”