The Golden Phone that reaches to Heaven…

Truth and humor for your day.

Psalm 66:19,20 “But certainly God has heard me; He has attended to the
voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, Who has not turned away my prayer,
nor His mercy from me.”

The Golden Phone that reaches to Heaven…

A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches
around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco, and started
working east from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking
photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the
vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign which read “$10,000 a
minute.”

Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The
Pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to
Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man
thanked the pastor and continued on his way.

As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Austin, Greensboro,
Chicago, Milwaukee, and all around the United States, he found more
phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Iowa. Upon entering a church in Marshalltown,
Iowa, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign
read, “calls: 35 cents.” Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor.
“Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each
church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a
direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God, but, in the other
churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 35 cents a call.
Why?”

The pastor, smiling benignly, replied,
“Son, you’re in Iowa now………………it’s a local call.”

If you are reading this and live outside of Iowa please do not be offended and miss what the real message is……

Change Iowa to your state and all is well. The key is that our Lord
loves to communicate with us!!!!!!!!! How fortunate we are.

And most importantly we are saved by grace through faith with no additives required!

I Peter 5:7 “Casting all of your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.”

Waiting on God…

Acts 9:6 “Get up and enter the city, and it will be told you what you must do”

Where is your life right now? Are you content? Where do you see
yourself in five years? It is interesting to note that God awaits our stepping into the water before …

Hebrews 11:6 “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that

cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them

that diligently seek him.”

Waiting on God

How do you find God’s will? Is it something you just stumble
across one day, like a one-dollar bill in the parking lot? Does it come
in the middle of the night, awakening you the next morning with a fresh
sense of purpose and direction? Is it something that God forces into our being?

Or is it something deeper-a process of ongoing “baby steps” that lead to ultimate fulfillment?

In our fast-paced society, answers can’t seem to come fast
enough. Too often, however, we forget that God operates on a different
timetable than we do. When it comes to seeking God’s will, we want to
know everything at once. We expect His entire plan for our lives to be
brought to us on a silver platter. Yet God sees far beyond our need for
immediate resolution.

If God began by showing us where we would end up, we would
likely do our best to get there as quickly as possible, with little
consideration of His timing. Think about it this way: if you were given
instruction to travel from Miami to Seattle, from one corner of the
United States to the other, how would you go about doing it? Some might
take the scenic drive through the mountains, others might stick to the
coast and the waterways, and some might opt for the quick flight over
everything. The point is-we all would go about traveling from Miami to
Seattle in different ways.

Never aware of what lies ahead, we may fly right into a
turbulent storm, suffer from car trouble on a deserted highway, or lose
our way altogether. But God sees the storms ahead of us; He can steer us
in the right direction and away from the pitfalls of self-effort. Often,
He may simply ask us to take two small steps and wait on further
instructions. And often He may direct us into the storm. It’s that principle of storms building character and spiritual maturity. Discovering God’s will doesn’t happen overnight.

Following Saul’s Damascus Road experience in Acts 9, God did not
say, “Saul, I am going to make you the greatest missionary for the
Christian faith in the history of mankind.” Instead, He simply told Saul
to travel to Damascus and “it will be told you what you must do” (Acts
9:6). From there, the Lord led Paul from city to city and country to
country, using him every step of the way to spread the gospel through
the world. Day by day, God will guide us and direct us on the path we
must take.

Now we may ask, “What if I mess up? What if I get off track?”
Fortunately, God is a God of second chances. Moses ran from God; David
strayed away from the Lord on many occasions; Peter denied Christ. God
is fully aware of our human nature-He knows we will make mistakes. His
will for our lives is not a one-shot opportunity. But if we do get off
track, we must simply re-focus our attention on Him, rather than our
circumstances.

Ultimately, if we are in tune with God, we can trust that He
will reveal His plan for our lives. Not only does this involve praying
and asking God for direction, but, also, listening to Him and meditating
on His Word. “Be still,” the Lord tells us, “and know that I am God”
Psalm 46:10 (NIV). It’s hard to listen to God and know His will if we
are constantly doing the talking. That is why it is so important to
listen to Him and meditate on Scripture.

Where is your life right now? Are you content? Where do you see
yourself in five years? Today, begin asking God what He would have you
do next. Listen to Him, understanding that answers may not come at once.
Ask for patience and wait quietly. Through His grace, you can
confidently walk in the will of God.

* * * *

From In Touch Ministries

Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith Jehovah.”

Romans 12:1-2 “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God,
that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto
God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this
world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may
prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

The dEVIL’S BEATITUDES…

I Peter 5:8 “Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil, as
a roaring lion, walketh about seeking whom he may devour.

T H E d E V I L ‘ S B E A T I T U D E S….

If the devil were to write his Beatitudes, they would probably go
something like this:

* Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend
time each day in prayer and Bible study ~ they are my best workers.

* Blessed are those who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked. I can
use them.

* Blessed are the touchy and led by emotions, they can be my missionaries.

* Blessed are those who are very religious but get on everyone’s nerves.
They are mine forever.

*Blessed are the troublemakers. They shall be called my children.

* Blessed are those who have no time to pray. They are easy prey for me.

* Blessed are the gossipers ~ for they are my secret agents.

* Blessed are those critical of Church leadership and other believers ~
for they shall inherit a place with me in my fate.

* Blessed are the complainers. I’m all ears for them.

* Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people
and not yourself. You are well on your way to being mine.

James 4:7 “Submit yourselves therefore unto God, resist the devil, and
he will flee from you.”

Problem solving in a Marriage…

Prov 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh answer stirs up wrath.”

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (AND LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.”

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

(MEN JUST AREN’T EQUIPPED FOR THESE SORT OF CONTESTS)

Actually with the silent treatment both lose!!!!!!!!

Listen to how God would have us to handle it.

Eph 4:26, 27 “Be angry, and sin not; do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”

A CHRISTian Soldiers Request for Transfer

John 15:20 “Remember the word that I said unto you, the servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

A CHRISTian Soldiers Request for Transfer…

To: Commander and Chief Spiritual Armed Forces, Jesus Christ

Dear Lord:

I am writing this to You to request a transfer to a desk job. I here
with present my reasons:

I began my career as a private, because of the intensity of the battle
You have quickly moved me up in the ranks. You have made me an officer and given me a tremendous amount of responsibility. There are many soldiers and recruits under my charge. I am constantly being called upon to dispense wisdom, make judgments, and find solutions to complex problems. You have placed me in a position to function as an officer, when in my heart I know I have only the skills of a private. I realize that You have promised to supply all I would need for the battle.

But Sir, I must present You a realistic picture of my equipment. My
uniform, once so crisp and starched, is now stained with tears and blood of those I have tried to assist. The soles of my boots are cracked and worn from the miles I have walked trying to enlist and encourage the instructed troops. My weapons are marred, tarnished and chipped from constant battle against the enemy.

Even the Book of Regulations I was issued has been torn and tattered
from endless use. The words are now smeared. You have promised You would be with me throughout, but when the noise of the battle is so loud and the confusion is so great, I can neither see nor hear You.

I feel so alone. I’m tired. I’m discouraged. I have Battle Fatigue. I
would never ask You for a discharge. I love being in Your service. But I humbly request a demotion and transfer. I’ll file papers or clean
latrines. Just get me out of the battle–please, Sir.

Your Faithful, but tired, Warrior.

——

To: Faithful, but tired, Soldier, Spiritual Armed Forces
Location: The Battlefield
SUBJECT: Transfer

Dear Soldier:

Your request for transfer has been denied. I here with present my reasons:

You are needed in this battle. I have selected you, and I will keep My
Word to supply your need. You do not need a demotion and transfer.
(You’d never cut it on latrine duty.) You need a period of “R&R”
–Renewal and Rekindling. I am setting aside a place on the battlefield that is insulated from all sound and fully protected from the enemy. I will meet you there and I will give you rest. I will remove your old equipment and “make all things new.” You have been wounded in the battle, my soldier. Your wounds are not visible, but you have received grave internal injuries. You need to be healed. I will heal you. You have been weakened in the battle. You need to be strengthened. I will strengthen you and be your strength. I will instill in you confidence and ability. My Words will rekindle within you and renewed love, zeal and enthusiasm.

Report to Me tattered and empty. I will refill you.

Compassionately,

Your Commander-in-Chief, Jesus Christ

Author Unknown

Luke 9:23 “And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”

God knows ALL…

Mat 11:28, 29 “Come unto Me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and
I will give you rest.

Who knows All

When you are tired and discouraged from fruitless efforts…                                                       God knows how hard you have tried.

When you’ve cried so long and your heart is in anguish…God has counted your tears.

If you feel that your life is on hold and time has passed you by…God is waiting with you.

When you’re lonely and your friends are too busy even for a phone call…God is by your side.

When you think you’ve tried everything and don’t know where to turn…God has a solution.

When nothing makes sense and you are confused or frustrated…God has the answer.

If suddenly your outlook is brighter and you find traces of hope…God has sustained you.

When things are going well and you have much to be thankful for…God has blessed you.

When something joyful happens and you are filled with awe…God has smiled upon you.

When you have a purpose to fulfill and a dream to follow…God has opened your eyes and called you by name.

When you realize life is for eternity and only Jesus can save you…God awaits your calling upon His Son to save you.

Remember that wherever you are or whatever you are facing…GOD KNOWS ALL!

Mat 11:28, 29 “Come unto Me, all you that labor and are heavy laden, and
I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me for I am
gently and lowly of heart, and you will find rest unto your soul.”

Time Gets Better with Age…

I Cor 13:11 “When I was a child I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.”

Time Gets Better with Age…

I’ve learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing
“Silent Night”. Age 5

I’ve learned that our dog doesn’t want to eat my broccoli either. Age 7

I’ve learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what
they are doing and wave back. Age 9

I’ve learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes
me clean it up again. Age 12

I’ve learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try
cheering someone else up. Age 14

I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my
parents are strict with me. Age 15

I’ve learned that silent company is often more healing than words of
advice. Age 24

I’ve learned that brushing my child’s hair is one of life’s great
pleasures. Age 26

I’ve learned that wherever I go, the world’s worst drivers have followed
me there. (Or gotten there before me)Age 29

I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live
so that no one will believe it. Age 30

I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don’t
know how to show it. Age 42

I’ve learned that you can make some one’s day by simply sending them a
little note. Age 44

I’ve learned that the greater a person’s sense of guilt, the greater his
or her need to cast blame on others. Age 46

I’ve learned that children and grandparents are natural allies. Age 47

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today,
life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. Age 48

I’ve learned that singing “Amazing Grace” can lift my spirits for hours. Age 49

I’ve learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the
phone. Age 50

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles
these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas
tree lights. Age 51

I’ve learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet
full of pills. Age 52

I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a
life. Age 58

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you
miss them terribly after they die. Age 60

I’ve learned that if you want to do something positive for your
children, work to improve your marriage. Age 61

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
(but not often) Age 62

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on
both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
Age 64

I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you.
But if you focus on doing God’s will, loving your family, meeting the needs of others, doing your work with joy, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
Age 65

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually
make the right decision. Age 66

I’ve learned that everyone can use a prayer. Age 72

I’ve learned that it pays to believe in miracles. And to tell the truth,
I’ve seen several. Age 75