Luke 9:23 “If anyone will come after Me, let them deny
themselves, take up their cross daily and follow Me.”
What if Noah lived in the United States and had
to build an Ark in 2009 .
The Lord speaks to Noah and says: “In one year I
am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth
with water until all is destroyed. But I want you to
save the righteous people and two of every kind of
living thing on earth. Therefore, I am commanding you
to build an Ark.”
In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications
for an Ark. With Faith, Fear and trembling, Noah took the plans
and agreed to build the Ark.
“Remember.” said the Lord, “You must complete the
Ark and bring everything aboard in one year.”
Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud
covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went
into a tumult. The Lord saw Noah sitting on his front
“Noah,” He asked, “Where is the Ark?”
“Lord please forgive me!” cried Noah, “I did my
best, but there were big problems. First I had to get
a permit for construction and your plans did not
comply with the codes. I had to hire an engineering
firm and redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight
with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a fire
sprinkling system and floatation devises. Then my
neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning
ordinances by building the Ark in my yard, so I had to
get a variance from the city planning commission.
I had problems getting enough wood for
the Ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to
protect the spotted owl. I finally convinced the U.S.
Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the
owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service wont let
me catch any owls. So no owls.
The carpenters formed a union and went out on
strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the
National Labor Union. Now I have 16 carpenters on the
Ark, but no owls.
When I started rounding up the other animals, I
got sued by the animal rights group. They objected to
me only taking two of each kind aboard.
Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA
notified me that I could not complete the Ark without
filing an environmental impact statement on the
proposed flood. They didn’t take kindly to the idea
that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the
Creator of the universe.
Then the Army Core of Engineers demanded a map of
the proposed new flood plan. I sent them a globe.
Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint
filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
that I am practicing discrimination by not taking
godless, unbelieving people aboard!
The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that
I’m building the Ark in preparation to flee the
country to avoid paying taxes.
I just got a notice from the state that I owe
some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark
as a recreational water craft.
Finally the ACLU got the courts to issue an
injunction against further construction of the Ark,
saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is a
religious event, therefore unconstitutional.
I really don’t think I can finish the Ark for
another 5 or 6 years!” Noah wailed.
The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine
and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across
the sky. Noah looked up hopefully. “You mean you are
not going to destroy the earth, Lord?”
“No,” said the Lord sadly. “The government
All joking aside, the flood was real and so are satan’s attacks!
Gen 6:11,14-16 “The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth
was filled with violence…Make yourself an ark of gopher wood, make
rooms in the ark, and cover it inside and outside with pitch.
And this is how you shall make it; The length of the ark shall be
three hundred cubits (450 ft estimate), it’s width 50 cubits (75 ft est),
and it’s height 30 cubits (45 ft est).You shall make a window for the
ark and you shall finish it to a cubit (1 1/2 ft) from above; and set
the door in the ark in it’s side. You shall make it with lower, second
and third decks.”
I Pet 5:8 “Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil,
as a roaring lion, walks about seeking whom he may devour.”